So we can laugh.

Reminder to self: When in distress please look at these :D

Lol these guys. Love love love!

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

-Wicked, for good
:)

:'( how to stop the tears these days.
I need u
I'm sorry

And everything just changed overnight

People, family, relationships, connections

Ironic how death n weddings they occur on the same day

It was just supposed to be filled with joy. But now it has been taken up by something else.

I dunno how to say anything now

Need to go home :'(

Don't want to wake up to something I would know

If only time would stop just last night

Everything would still have been perfect
Or repairable

Everything changes tomorrow

Hello u.

Thanks for all the late night talks, the movies, the food, the cards, the good company, the patience, the laughs and the tuitions of course!

And once again, thanks for being a friend.

Graduation would not have been possible without u, just so u know

Always know that u are dearly loved :)

I want to go home :'(((((

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation,
Of whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life,
Of whom shall I be afraid?

The one thing that I desire of the Lord,
That will I seek
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All of my days

为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

just downloaded a piano in the phone to play this.

brings back so much memories eh?

in the form 3 homework book.

miss this song so much

i still remember how u came up to me and went : hey u wanna listen to this song i composed?
i was like O.O seriously???!?! yes of course!

felt so honoured. and happy i was one of the first few who had a chance to hear ur first piece.

xiao bai helped also. heh wonder if he still remembers this song

the melody may be wonky, the lyrics may not fit
it may sound cheesy
but hey,
we were 15

it is still the best friendship song ever!

youth again tomorrow!

sometimes it gets so frustrating, discouraging. to see them looking at the time, hearing them rapidly answer a question just for the sake of answering

but then again. they joy of watching some change

some taking charge, and some willing to share.

and laughter! the best thing ever

il take on more of the bad moments just to see these.

refined under pressure huh. 

no one else can do it like how we do it

so why dont we go ahead and do what we were meant to do

fear, pressure, insecurity, they lock our feet back onto the ground.

along with its grip on our hearts.

its so encouraging sometimes to see the people stepping up

when they realize, hey, i need to do this. 

and even more when they have never done it before.

ruth said something on a thursday,

' u know sometimes when God is asking you to do sth, just do it already. dont wait, dont ask questions

dont ask opinions'

why the wait? why the insecurity?

sometimes we feel the call, we know it, deep down. 

there will be no peace until we answer

why do we hesitate, when we know it is from God

why the fear of our own inabilities, when we know of God's abilities

some shoes, no one can fill.

sleep doesnt come easy these days

either that or i keep waking up.

too many thoughts; too many images

problems and the old guilt, they seem to come back and haunt you at night

what a relief it is to wake up, to find that it never happened at all.

or just not yet.

and how comforting it is to wake up in warmth

i woke up last night, and thank you.

cold christmas eve morning in windsor

im having roastduck cravingssss

lamentations 3:23

His mercies are new every morning

煉淨我

it’s one of the eternal ironies surrounding Jesus that those who allowed the exposure of their own weakness, shame, and guilt were the very ones who were afterward able to drink with joy from the fountains of eternal fortunes and love… while those who fought desperately to prop up their own crumbling facades of self-righteousness were in the end reduced to a ridiculous position, raging blindly against love and their own liberation.

-Douglas Kaine McKelvey

got back from camp. the first camp where i can say i learnt so much from the lives of others,

their willingness, their trust they put in, their lives changed forever.

the whole world watches them, their lives and hearts exposed

the embracing of God's love, the embracing of their sins

leading to the living testimony they are of today.

came back with a head full of questions instead of answers

desperation need and hunger they all came back again at the same moment

which brought along the unworthiness, guilt and frustration

so overwhelming to a point where tears started pouring

a call which then turned into a cry

a soft knock on the door which then turned into a loud thump

and it was answered. only with the final fall of the last wall of resistance

peace, love, assurance,

the stillness, and at the same time the violent gush of His presence

it too was overwhelming.

the heart of a servant, pure and holy

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how."

luke 9:57

His scars for our lives

so why not our scars for the lives of others.

John 21:25

There are so many other things Jesus did. If they were all written down, each one of them, one by one , I can't imagine a world big enough to hold such a library of books.


Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Regardless of the number of answers given, the obvious stated,
Do you believe?
That 3 nails and 1 cross

First came love, then came grace
And it is by faith that we are saved

To Him who made the great lights- psalm 136

Have a Good Friday everyone!

heart deposits

blessings, they come in bulk

i wish time would stop. or pass by slower.

felt like just yday, we were going to the market. u with a plastic bag and me with one too.

then i would get a toy, as a reward i guess for following u to the market.

sometimes i wonder back then whether i merely followed u to get a toy every week or just because i liked spending time with u.

it made me feel so important back then. when kirly and irwin would be sound asleep and i would wake up early to buy groceries for the week.

and then came primary school, i think that was when i stopped.

funny how things go as time passes by

how we didnt even know it would be our last market trip together.

did i go for the sake of going that time

or did i go out of courtesy caused u asked.

wennie, yiu mm yiu gan ngo hui bak sak?

i guess these are the words i will remember most now.

and then came the time where we had that evil maid. lol

primary school, came and went in a blink of an eye.

i still remember wishing it would be over as soon as possible

the exams, the PTS, the UPSR stress.

where about 20 of us were segregated from the group to 'self study' every day.

top scorers of our school huh. lol how cute.

where i imagined the stuff i would be able to do in high school.

of course there were friends. friends made to last a lifetime.

tanglaifah! i remember u waking us up just so we could be the first to see kuching.

it was really the best trip ever.

i seriously remembered u saying u wanted be fangruoqi the ntv7 presenter's successor.

but now, the future forensic medical doctor.

lol and how i always wanted to be a doctor.

how life changed us all, along with our dreams.

i was and am still proud to have a friend like you.

went back n told my mom, my friend is gonna be on tv next time!

haha

then came high school,

this time i was determined not to let time pass me by, to open up a bigger memory space to remember the things you guys did. lol the stuff i remember, they never fail to crack me up/

where i found out there were soooo many people who were faster, smarter and stronger.

shocking.

how i would never allow myself to get anything below 80.

and then with pei chee and yunxin, we ruled CHHS.

sports, grades and friends.

we had it all.

best times indeed.

and that trip to pangkor.

i still have the black sand in the bottle!

the amount of exams we had, lol nth can beat the stress we had, even until now

the number of msgs we would send during mid year and year end exams, till we each had a rm200 phone bill

then it as a levels,

where it was hard blending in with banana culture.

but i was blessed with banana cultured chinese speaking friends!

many firsts we had together, first clubbing night, first prom, first eating at posh places heh.

the best gang ever, where we could switch between chinese and english.

a first for us too

not too many gangs out there like us eh? :)

and now its uni.

some people, left and gone;

some dreams unfulfilled,

some things left unsaid.

would we let anything slip through our fingers again?

time, words, family, friends.

<3

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. “A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle. “ Sounds like a wrestling match, I say. “A wrestling match.” He laughs. “Yes, you could describe life that way.” So which side wins, I ask? “Which side wins?” He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth. “Love wins. Love always wins.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

oh btw, tenby was awesomeeeeeeee.

especially the part where we buried our feet in the sand.

and sunbathed for like 10 mins

and where we waddled in ice cold water

to smile and shiver after the flash went out

my arm still hurts from volleyball. lol

and mother hen and fox!

and monkey

we are so gonna have another adventure soon after exams.

easter break is hereeeeeeeee!

cant wait for it to start, and to end.

so exams will be done and over with!

am gonna miss youth, next session should be after easter

from the beginning where no one talked to anyone

to sharing little bits and pieces of life now.

something more can be done, and should be done.

the planning and brainstorming shall hence begin!

oh annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddd

THE SUN IS HERE!!

thrive, not just survive

After two nights

I'm wont be surprised if I have no more tears left

The worst thing to happen is becoming someone u don't even know

How do u even hate urself when u don't even know who and what to hate

Now? I feel like a pile of trash
For what i did maybe. And more for what I didn't do

I guess its true then,
you are your worst enemy.


Clearly the dark night of the soul is here

I hope it is, coz there will be light soon

And then the good sleep will come

Stop already

I just want to sleep.


Why do u still fall

:'[

and now the pillow is wet

no sleep tonight

i miss chewy

The whole body aches. Napped and woke up, felt like puking. Must be the 3 dinners in 1.

There are like 15 people in the living room with 73748072 cans of beer, and an iPad.

Playing in between, with background music

I need random nights like my sis has.
But there's no beach to go in Cardiff at night.


Lol Junkiat is getting angry again. Haha that drunkard.

I vant to go to the beach, soak my feet and brush them with the sand.

I remember a night back in Aus, where we randomly gathered and lighted fireworks in the cold night.

random night outings and hangings

The cake was a success!
The Victoria strawberry sponge cake
Not the carrot cake which became butter cake tho.

Oh wells. But both were goooood

At least that's what I choose to believe.
Heh. My reality

I need a back massage plssssssss

We live, we learn, we forgive, and never give up.

How nice would it be to begin all over again.

To be able to think the impossible

Back where there were no limits,

Where fear did not have a grip on our hearts

Back where we truly believed that Jesus could do anything and everything

When did we let our limits blind our eyes to his limitless?

To start where it was a blank page

Where we weren't defined by anyone

Not even ourselves

When should we notice that our limits and boundaries , we have set ourselves.

It's about time now, since much has gone and there isn't much left.

For the days we are given are gifts from above,

And today we remember to live and to love

Whatever that happened once could always happen again.

Where is ur stand today?
Or do we just flow and sway.
What would you do if it happens again?
We are all called for a time such as this,
would u make that stand then?
Today they take away your bible,
One day they will try to take away your God.

Stand, and make a difference.


A voice says,"shout"
I say, "what shall I shout?"

These people are nothing but grass,
Their love fragile as wildflowers,
The grass withers,
The wildflowers fade,
If God so much as puffs on them

Aren't these people so much like grass?
True,
The grass withers,
The wildflowers fade,
But the word of our God stands firm and forever.

Isaiah 40:6

Committed and surrendered.
Two different words, two different meanings

We may be committed, but have we surrendered?

If yes how much have we surrendered?

Parts of our lives or our life as a whole?

Studies? Relationships? Family? Church? Any part of it that has the sign on the box saying "please do not touch"

When was the last time you even let him come close to these boxes, not even mentioning when was the last time He touched them or opened them.



Let my foolish pride forever let me down

John 15
You didn't choose me, remember; I chose you

My stupidity amazes me sometimes.


I don't want it to happen again :'((

oh the wonderful cross
bids me come and die
and find that i
may truly live

For the first time, has been too long.

Exhausted ducts in the eyes

But then again

Such a good sleep in a long long time
Plus that almost 5 hr nap

I need apples

cant. wait. to. feel. the. sun. on. my. back. again. :)

sometimes it takes one insane person to keep you sane.

thanks for being that insane person, idiot.

Lord u seriously must know the many times i wanted to give up

the many times i stood at roads thinking why am i still fighting for

the many times i wanted to just end everything,

where i blocked your voice

read books to silence my thoughts

it is memories that keeps us alive sometimes

memories that serve as a gentle reminder

the reason we are constantly fighting to live.

when you are once again reminded that the reason is not you

but for the creator

and for what he has done.

the reason why we hold on so dearly to some memories

remember?

when bad things happen,

we remember the good things

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering; so do not throw away your confidence in the Lord.

-hebrews 10

so we will not let go of our faith in Him, because of His faith in us;

we will love, because He first loved

it's been awhile now

weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning

psalm 30:5

and i will try,

to fix you

where?

Billy Graham; I'm reminded today of Albert Einstein, the great physicist who has been honored by Time magazine as the Man of the Century. Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn't find his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn't there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn't find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn't find it.

The conductor said, "Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I'm sure you bought a ticket. Don't worry about it." Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.

The conductor rushed back and said, "Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don't worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don't need a ticket. I'm sure you bought one."

Einstein looked at him and said, "Young man, I too, know who I am. What I don't know is where I'm going."

Having said that Billy Graham continued, "See the suit I'm wearing; it's a brand new suit. My wife, my children, and my grandchildren are telling me I've gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this luncheon and one more occasion.

"You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I'll be buried. But when you hear I'm dead, I don't want you to immediately remember the suit I'm wearing. I want you to remember this: I not only know who I am ... I also know where I'm going."

>:)

bad days. they come in a package these days.

it is days like these where we block him out when we need him the most.

some things we can never face alone.

but we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed;

perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not abandoned;

struck down, but not destroyed

2 Cor 4:7-9

so, noh!

i shall not die

>:)

had so much lamb and awesome prawn today

the prawn was ze bomb i tell u.

and so was the lamb

basically everything

cept the veggie

heh!

hannatan finished half a tin of the tyre keropok i brought for her

she is worse than me i tell u, lolll

i bet u she has finished like half the choki choki too by now

and her parents gave me angpow! whee! bless them

i hope we get into cardiff together

so we can stay for another year togetherrrrrrr

so fun i tell u

like seriously

she thinks im the entertainment

but i tell u,

she is the real clown

i miss those times where i slept in her room

so fun! it was like having a sister again, but a less annoying one. lol

we'd talk for hours, then watch shows, and listen to emo songs for hours

she likes the fray too!

been playing the same old songs since year 1

time fliesssssss!

so happy to be back, really

and i really shouldve tapao-ed some prawns

i think uk people will faint if they ever see the size of our king prawns loll

u know u miss them when u start seeing them in other people

wrote this when u left to melb. so long ago now it seems! haha

the phone has been long gone

so have the messages

but never those funny memories!

Monday, June 21, 2010 at 4:29pm

am looking at the msgs u sent a long time ago. haha with some ice cream. they never fail to make me laugh, seriously. and at the same time they never fail to make me feel loved.

stuff like : eww u bring avinesh with u to watch that tamil movie!, if we can't agree we watch kuruvi!,

haha and i sent u sth like i tell my mom, and u said i tell my maid! lol the many stories of ur maids and overweight cats

oh and my fav one: pity, even my grandma wasnt that bad.
haha!

and my birthday msg last year! may u be blessed with g2 pens, a rich husband and 5 kids. Enjoy this 45 mins! tmrw it shall be my day again, just like everyday.

looking at this u still owe me my pens. fig tree dinner and mcd if i rmb correctly.

then there was that day where my dog got pregnant again : Omg.. so subur! GO NEWTER IT LA PLS!

and theres that bunch of : where is class wenly?
funny these used to be the most annoying ones, but now i miss getting them the most.

and now the new ones have arrived!

and u have not changed one bit!

<3

· · April 29, 2011 at 4:00am via mobile ·

• • 

    Wan Nur Zayani I'm sorry I missed your calls! But please stop calling me. I won't let you come to my wedding. I am sorry, I have to choose my friends now :( you can wait in front of the palace to see me kiss my future husband, though :) x

    April 29, 2011 at 4:54am ·
  • 

    Wan Nur Zayani By the way I miss you. As much as I loathe you, I still do!
    
    

    · · April 6, 2011 at 1:39am ·

    • • 

        Wan Nur Zayani Yes I've sent you an invitation. You will be sitting with the Queen. She wants her crown to be polished every 5 minutes or so. Haha. Kidding! How are you? I want to make Anzac cookies for you.
        
        · · March 24, 2011 at 2:54am ·

        • • 

            Wan Nur Zayani Please stop trying to be me. People can imitate me but they know that I can never be duplicated :) Please come to the wedding rehearsal tomorrow. I will need your help with my gown, it's pretty long! Thanks sweetie xxx hahahahahaha
            
            · · March 11, 2011 at 2:18am ·

            • • 

                Wan Nur Zayani Hello there! All ready for my wedding this coming spring/summer? William and I are soooo stoked ;) hahaha.
                
                Wan Nur Zayani When I come back, the peace will return as well. There can only be one queen and you know that..evil Wenly! Vireen, may the force be with you. Be strong through this hardship!!