money eater

had sports day on friday and sat. had lots of fun, took lots of pics. sang the class song over and over again. then ran round the stadium shouting: we want holiday! we want holiday! he( the headmaster) wasnt even moved by what we did to get holiday on monday.. TT some said to go on strike.

we shouted like crazy, waved pom poms like crazy. had to be outstanding and scream, not shout to be heard over the 4000 something ppl there, so that our presence may be felt and heard.

irwin got 1st for the 400m in the qualifying rounds. so geng! i oni saw him when he was lining up, then i shouted : eh! thats my brother!! my whole class went "wenly punya brother wenlypunyabrother, where where where? " they said he lengzai arr.. aih. then we cheered for him. his legs so long weh.

yun xin won the 110m hurdles on friday. and she only trained for a week! beat that girl who has been training for 5 years. ( hmph thats for changing our shirt colour to some ugly shade of purple. we kindoff blended in the stadium seats very well thank you.)
wanying won the 800m. and she was so fast. couldnt see her at first coz she was stuck somewhere in a group.


the second day kindoff sucked.

we were aiming for the girls overall champ. and thanks to me, we got 2nd and got the same trophy with diff words on it. tied with my fren for 200m during the qualifying rounds. then got 2nd in 4x400m qualifying. i sucked at 200m and the 400m hurdles finals. got 4th in both. was aiming for third place. then right after the two i had 4x400m. cud have won it if it weren't for me, the slowest in the team. and an ex school team runner summore. what makes it worse is that all the track team senior members were there. people i look up to. watching. what went thru their minds i wonder.. : still so slow ar this girl...

dunno where to put my face now. yun xin could have won the best girl athlete. now thanks to me, my own class and own fren robbed from the trophy.
what makes it worse is that some find all types of excuses for u: aiya, u so kesian, so tired ade, ran non stop, blablabla. dont u get it??!!! I DONT WANT UR PITY. some just throw it right at ur face: aiyor, we cud have won the whole thing if.. blablabla. and for some: the girl infront of u wasnt a school runner summore, n u were so far behind. I DoNT need you to remind me of that either!!

we were already last when i got the baton, cut thru 2 girls, 4 more left. until the end still four more left. the ppl infront of me getting further and further away. to make things worse, it auto replays in my mind. shudnt have went for the 200m and hurdles. looked like some idiot pushing down the hurdles thing . now merugikan other ppl oni.
guess im still the useless one in the team. the one with no confidence, no mental strength.

what's the use of sorry now, u still gave up in the end.

even my teachers know about it. my frens were joking n said i eat money. so had to put up a smiley face n laugh along. relli felt like being punched in the stomach when the whole class was saying it n saying we lost all because of you. so useless, blablabla. my add maths teacher asked me why i eat money too. i reli felt like punching him in the face. not from you too!!!.. sometimes i really think u all mean what u say.

sigh. wheres shuwei n tsufei... sometimes i relli think im the one who lives in some ulu place.
why do You seem so far sometimes. sometimes, i dont even know where the heck are You.. am i useless to you too??!