I want to go home :'(((((

Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation,
Of whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the strength of my life,
Of whom shall I be afraid?

The one thing that I desire of the Lord,
That will I seek
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
All of my days

为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置 是最幸福的事

just downloaded a piano in the phone to play this.

brings back so much memories eh?

in the form 3 homework book.

miss this song so much

i still remember how u came up to me and went : hey u wanna listen to this song i composed?
i was like O.O seriously???!?! yes of course!

felt so honoured. and happy i was one of the first few who had a chance to hear ur first piece.

xiao bai helped also. heh wonder if he still remembers this song

the melody may be wonky, the lyrics may not fit
it may sound cheesy
but hey,
we were 15

it is still the best friendship song ever!

youth again tomorrow!

sometimes it gets so frustrating, discouraging. to see them looking at the time, hearing them rapidly answer a question just for the sake of answering

but then again. they joy of watching some change

some taking charge, and some willing to share.

and laughter! the best thing ever

il take on more of the bad moments just to see these.

refined under pressure huh. 

no one else can do it like how we do it

so why dont we go ahead and do what we were meant to do

fear, pressure, insecurity, they lock our feet back onto the ground.

along with its grip on our hearts.

its so encouraging sometimes to see the people stepping up

when they realize, hey, i need to do this. 

and even more when they have never done it before.

ruth said something on a thursday,

' u know sometimes when God is asking you to do sth, just do it already. dont wait, dont ask questions

dont ask opinions'

why the wait? why the insecurity?

sometimes we feel the call, we know it, deep down. 

there will be no peace until we answer

why do we hesitate, when we know it is from God

why the fear of our own inabilities, when we know of God's abilities

some shoes, no one can fill.

sleep doesnt come easy these days

either that or i keep waking up.

too many thoughts; too many images

problems and the old guilt, they seem to come back and haunt you at night

what a relief it is to wake up, to find that it never happened at all.

or just not yet.

and how comforting it is to wake up in warmth

i woke up last night, and thank you.

cold christmas eve morning in windsor

im having roastduck cravingssss

lamentations 3:23

His mercies are new every morning

煉淨我

it’s one of the eternal ironies surrounding Jesus that those who allowed the exposure of their own weakness, shame, and guilt were the very ones who were afterward able to drink with joy from the fountains of eternal fortunes and love… while those who fought desperately to prop up their own crumbling facades of self-righteousness were in the end reduced to a ridiculous position, raging blindly against love and their own liberation.

-Douglas Kaine McKelvey

got back from camp. the first camp where i can say i learnt so much from the lives of others,

their willingness, their trust they put in, their lives changed forever.

the whole world watches them, their lives and hearts exposed

the embracing of God's love, the embracing of their sins

leading to the living testimony they are of today.

came back with a head full of questions instead of answers

desperation need and hunger they all came back again at the same moment

which brought along the unworthiness, guilt and frustration

so overwhelming to a point where tears started pouring

a call which then turned into a cry

a soft knock on the door which then turned into a loud thump

and it was answered. only with the final fall of the last wall of resistance

peace, love, assurance,

the stillness, and at the same time the violent gush of His presence

it too was overwhelming.

the heart of a servant, pure and holy

"Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat—I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how."

luke 9:57

His scars for our lives

so why not our scars for the lives of others.

John 21:25

There are so many other things Jesus did. If they were all written down, each one of them, one by one , I can't imagine a world big enough to hold such a library of books.


Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.

Regardless of the number of answers given, the obvious stated,
Do you believe?
That 3 nails and 1 cross

First came love, then came grace
And it is by faith that we are saved

To Him who made the great lights- psalm 136

Have a Good Friday everyone!

heart deposits

blessings, they come in bulk

i wish time would stop. or pass by slower.

felt like just yday, we were going to the market. u with a plastic bag and me with one too.

then i would get a toy, as a reward i guess for following u to the market.

sometimes i wonder back then whether i merely followed u to get a toy every week or just because i liked spending time with u.

it made me feel so important back then. when kirly and irwin would be sound asleep and i would wake up early to buy groceries for the week.

and then came primary school, i think that was when i stopped.

funny how things go as time passes by

how we didnt even know it would be our last market trip together.

did i go for the sake of going that time

or did i go out of courtesy caused u asked.

wennie, yiu mm yiu gan ngo hui bak sak?

i guess these are the words i will remember most now.

and then came the time where we had that evil maid. lol

primary school, came and went in a blink of an eye.

i still remember wishing it would be over as soon as possible

the exams, the PTS, the UPSR stress.

where about 20 of us were segregated from the group to 'self study' every day.

top scorers of our school huh. lol how cute.

where i imagined the stuff i would be able to do in high school.

of course there were friends. friends made to last a lifetime.

tanglaifah! i remember u waking us up just so we could be the first to see kuching.

it was really the best trip ever.

i seriously remembered u saying u wanted be fangruoqi the ntv7 presenter's successor.

but now, the future forensic medical doctor.

lol and how i always wanted to be a doctor.

how life changed us all, along with our dreams.

i was and am still proud to have a friend like you.

went back n told my mom, my friend is gonna be on tv next time!

haha

then came high school,

this time i was determined not to let time pass me by, to open up a bigger memory space to remember the things you guys did. lol the stuff i remember, they never fail to crack me up/

where i found out there were soooo many people who were faster, smarter and stronger.

shocking.

how i would never allow myself to get anything below 80.

and then with pei chee and yunxin, we ruled CHHS.

sports, grades and friends.

we had it all.

best times indeed.

and that trip to pangkor.

i still have the black sand in the bottle!

the amount of exams we had, lol nth can beat the stress we had, even until now

the number of msgs we would send during mid year and year end exams, till we each had a rm200 phone bill

then it as a levels,

where it was hard blending in with banana culture.

but i was blessed with banana cultured chinese speaking friends!

many firsts we had together, first clubbing night, first prom, first eating at posh places heh.

the best gang ever, where we could switch between chinese and english.

a first for us too

not too many gangs out there like us eh? :)

and now its uni.

some people, left and gone;

some dreams unfulfilled,

some things left unsaid.

would we let anything slip through our fingers again?

time, words, family, friends.

<3

“Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn’t. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. “A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle. “ Sounds like a wrestling match, I say. “A wrestling match.” He laughs. “Yes, you could describe life that way.” So which side wins, I ask? “Which side wins?” He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth. “Love wins. Love always wins.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

oh btw, tenby was awesomeeeeeeee.

especially the part where we buried our feet in the sand.

and sunbathed for like 10 mins

and where we waddled in ice cold water

to smile and shiver after the flash went out

my arm still hurts from volleyball. lol

and mother hen and fox!

and monkey

we are so gonna have another adventure soon after exams.